CAZET

themightynein:

dewey:

pissvortex:

(via icpe)

mentosmorii:

july-19th-club:

thinking about the time artemis fowl’s dad got back from being kidnapped by the mafia and was like i’m responsible now!! i love my wife i love my son i wont let a second go to waste! im gonna be a cool dad im gonna get racing stripes on my prosthetic leg and im gonna make terrible jokes and donate to charity and environmental relief. i’ve got a didn’t-die-in-the-arctic high and im gonna ride it as long as i can baby and artemis was like……..are you haunted. are you fucking possessed. you used to be my crime father

#hes like i missed you i respected you you’re driving this fucking family into the ground. #we’ll be destitute on the streets if i dont do unethical business deals right now #and sr. looks at this disdainful sixth grader he supposedly raised and is like oh………..oh i REALLY fucked up …….(x)

(via yahenni)

theroomyouneverenter:

slimetony:

transgirl-princess:

slimetony:

guys lets brainstorm a post

setting: 1950s london

*british accent* oh fuck i got my balls caught in the trolley. sure glad the beatles arent around yet to write a song about this

balls in the trolley, asking for help all alone while he cries out in fear

no one comes near

nutsack is hurting, it’s caught between rivets and pulleys and gears

nobody hears

(To the tune of Eleanor Rigby)

(via captainsnoop-deactivated2020041)

corvidbone-deactivated20200223:

kaijutegu:

kaijutegu:

meglyman:

subrosa-shit:

starfleetacademy:

My favorite catholic lore is that anyone can make holy water in a pinch but the church puts dumb restrictions on us like ‘do this only if someone needs their last rites’ like I WILL bless this McDonald’s sprite and I WILL enjoy the crispiness of our lord and savior

Another bit is that holy water cannot be diluted. When I went to the Vatican the tour guide was explaining this, if you put any amount of holy water into any amount of normal water, the whole bunch becomes holy. This is how they sell Pope Holy Water in the gift shop. This is how I’ve been drinking only holy water for two months now. I am immune to demons.

Homeopathic holy

It’s not actually any amount of holy water- according to the Church, the water has to be more than half holy water by volume. So if you take a half gallon+a few drops of holy water and a half gallon of secular water, you get one gallon of holy water, plus a few drops. You can then add a gallon of secular water to that and then you have two gallons of holy water. We’ve got a couple jugs of Pope Water in the linen closet at my parents’ house, because my mom used the heck out of this loophole after a trip to Italy in 2008. It was more than a decade ago at this point and we still have Pope Water. We no longer have that Pope, but by god do we have his water.

Here’s what a jug of Pope water looks like. Mom measured a fill line on them so that we never accidentally run out and just have old jugs of secular water lying around.

(via knife-em0ji)

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated:

neodadaslut:

busterkeatonholic:

Hank the equine journalist

what will he report

Hay prices

(via captainsnoop-deactivated2020041)

mujerdeojosnegros:

(via captainsnoop-deactivated2020041)

darkfrog24:

the-winter-witcher:

Oh no…

Do you think he’d wear it in bed? 😅

HE DID!!

“It’s not just a role to him. He wanted, for instance, for the armour to look like it had been worn for years and years. So he made breakfast in it and he would sleep in it.” (And this is a guy who literally played Superman.)

Cavill was method acting, but he wasn’t being mean or putting dead rats everywhere, so no one noticed.

(via knife-em0ji)

noodlenumber:

feshpince-deactivated20201109:

:

(via bird-bum)